I lost my mama.

How do I live in a world without Mom? She has ALWAYS been there. No matter what kind of trouble I got into, I knew my mom was praying for me. I probably wouldn't even be alive today if my mom hadn't been in constant prayer for her children. And now she's gone. Just gone. When I want to make no-bake cookies, I can't call her to get the recipe cause I lost mine. I'll probably never make another Texas sheet cake again, cause I can't call Mom for the recipe.

I just feel so all alone. Hopeless. Helpless. Watching her die was pure torture. And she knew she was dying. What do you think about when you're just sitting there waiting to die? Why didn't I ask her what she was thinking? For us, the family, she tried to pretend everything was fine. When we begged, she would deign to play a game of dominoes with us. You could tell her heart wasn't in it, though. We bought her crossword puzzle books, word search puzzles, finally coloring books and crayons. She just couldn't concentrate on any of them. She just sat there, waiting to die.

And then she died. And something in me died.

First time in my life I saw my daddy cry, when he found out she was dying. A few times while she was waiting to die, he would lose his composure for just a few minutes. But after Mom's funeral, in front of all those people in the church, while he was talking to the preacher, he literally broke down crying. That is a mental picture I will never be able to erase. It broke my heart to see my daddy cry. Now, as I mourn Mom, I also grieve for my daddy. He loved her so much. The loved each other for 70 years. How will he go on without her? How will I? It hurts so bad.

Motivation?

I've really been slack about blogging lately. Partly lack of motivation, partly lack of time and energy, mostly just too much going on in my life to think about it. Been through the wringer lately health-wise, won't bore you with the details, but I'm well on the road to recovery now and feeling better than I have in years.

I'm in Ohio for awhile visiting family. My youngest grandson is about to turn 7 years old and he was insistent that I be here for his party. How could I say no? When he was born, I moved there to help my daughter out. I was his only babysitter till almost 2 years ago when I moved back to South Carolina. He and his older sister have brought such joy to my life, and their momma, too, of course. I love my children and my grandchildren.

When I started this blog, I intended to blog daily, putting down my memories for posterity. I just need to get back into the habit, I guess, cause if my grandkids aren't enough motivation, what is?

We Thought We Were Stylin'

My 13-year-old great-granddaughter was telling of this really weird thing she had seen at her friend's grandmother's house. She was shocked at the concept of how it worked and asked, "Wouldn't that mess up your hair really bad?" She was describing the first hairdryer I (well, my family) ever had. The one with the plastic bonnet and the hose running from the bonnet to a little box with a motor which blew warm air up into the bonnet and there were holes in it to let the steam out and it dried your hair. It was so much more convenient than having to get down on your hands and knees and dry your hair over the furnace registers. I loved those old registers, though. In the morning eating breakfast hunkered over a register with a blanket wrapped around me to hold all the heat in. Course, when we had the coal furnace, you could get burned on the register. I'd straddle it sometimes if it weren't too hot, but sometimes I couldn't get my feet close enough to the edges without doing a split and burning something besides the bottoms of my feet. And I wonder why they called me Calamity Jane?
 One time I had just got a new coat for Christmas and we went over to my aunt's house. They had a gas "space heater" type thing. Freestanding, kinda out away from the wall. I was cold, so I stood there with my back to the heater and I guess I was too close because I scorched my new coat. But I have a very clever mom. She cut off the bottom part of the coat (it had been knee-length) and hemmed it and created what later became known as a "car coat," basically a jacket, I reckon. I was so proud of her for being able to salvage my new coat that I had messed up so badly.

2 Things I Despise - Winter Weather & Getting Older

Compared to where I grew up, it's really not cold outside today (in the 50's). However, I FEEL cold! So I put on my winter coat, walked across the yard to my son's for dinner and some tv, came home, and couldn't get my coat unzipped. That thing wouldn't go up any further and it wouldn't go down any at all; it just wouldn't budge! I had to call my son to come down and unzip my coat for me. So NOW i feel OLD. Old and cold, two things I really never wanted to be. I'm forever having to take jars up to the house to have someone open them for me. I just don't have the strength in my hands that I used to have. On a brighter note -- my 11-year-old granddaughter won the Spelling Bee at her school. Now she gets to go to the County Bee sometime next month. I'm so proud of her and excited for her! My precious little Abbydoodle.

I only missed two!

This is a test for us 'old kids'! The answers are printed below, but don't cheat.

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01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, 'Who was that masked man?' Invariably, someone would answer, 'I don't know, but he left this behind.' What did he leave  behind?________________.

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 02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched themonThe_______________ Show..

 

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> 03. 'Get

> your kicks, __________________.'

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 04. 'The  story you are about to see is true. The names  have been changed to

 ___________________.'

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 05. 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle,

 ________________.'

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 06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance  called  the'_____________.'

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 07. 'Nestle's makes the very best_______________.

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 08.Satchmo was America's

'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was

 _________________.

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  09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking?

 _______________.

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 10 . Red Skeleton's hobo character was named

 __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and

 '________ ________.

 

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 11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam

War did so by burning

 their______________.

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 12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? ____________

 &_______________.

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 13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.' This was a tribute to ___________________.

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 14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.

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 15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called ______________.

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 ANSWERS :

 01.. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver  bullet.

 02. The Ed Sullivan Show

 03. On  Route 66

 04.To protect the innocent.

 05.The Lion Sleeps Tonight

 06. The limbo

 07. Chocolate

 08. Louis Armstrong

 09. The Timex watch

 10. Freddy, The Freeloader and'Good Night and God Bless.

 11. Draft cards (Bras were also burned.

Not flags,as some have guessed)

 12. Beetle or  Bug

 13. Buddy Holly

 14. Sputnik

 15. Hoola-hoop

I think I need a Temp to come in to help File.

My word! My daughter, bless her heart, and a friend of ours, Laurie walked me slowly and as patiently as possible through the whole process of entering for a blog party on Monday evening. It seems very complicated and I have to ask a lot of questions and make a few mistakes, but after about 5 hours of intensive coaching, she finally pronounced me ready for the party, then told me I could come back and make like 30 comments for that many more entries into contest. Seems like a lot of work just to go to a party where I ain't won nothing yet. Course, my daughter has won several things, but I guess she has a faster system than the one she showed me . That's some complicated stuff. I'm sure she showed me the least complicated one, but it surely wasn't very "least." So glad I have friends and family who care enuff about me to spend a little of their precious time helping me learn new things. I'm really enjoying it except for the fear of being too dense and making my teachers mad at me, but they reassure me from time to time, so I'm encouraged.

Losing Things - Maybe My Mind???

I don't know what it is lately. It seems I have a ferret or something hiding in my house and stealing things. I can never seem to find anything any more. From a half bottle of medicine to my brand new watch to my keys. It just seems that once I lay something down, it goes away. I can sit here at my computer and not move except to go to the bathroom, and something's gone. I even lose my wireless mouse half the time. How many times should I have to ask someone help me tear my place apart looking for things that seem to have just "walked off"??? Yesterday I really about panicked when I started to refill my weekly pillbox and my bag of prescription meds weren't where they always are. I eventually found them, but they were nowhere near where I usually keep them, and I don't remember putting them there! Oh, yeah, and I live alone, so who else coulda done it? Sometimes I just feel like it's ME that's lost and the "things" are just somewhere else lol.